There are 201 episodes Two and a Half Men season 1, season 2, season 3, season 4, season 5, season 6, season 7, season 8 and season 9.
Two and a Half Men season 1 episode list:
- Season 1, Episode 1 – Pilot
- Season 1, Episode 2 – Big Flappy Bastards
- Season 1, Episode 3 – Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
- Season 1, Episode 4 – If I Can’t Write My Chocolate Song, I’m Going to Take a Nap
- Season 1, Episode 5 – The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
- Season 1, Episode 6 – Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
- Season 1, Episode 7 – If They Do Go Either Way, They’re Usually Fake
- Season 1, Episode 8 – Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
- Season 1, Episode 9 – Phase One, Complete
- Season 1, Episode 10 – Merry Thanksgiving
- Season 1, Episode 11 – Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
- Season 1, Episode 12 – Camel Filters and Pheromones
- Season 1, Episode 13 – Sarah Like Puny Alan
- Season 1, Episode 14 – I Can’t Afford Hyenas
- Season 1, Episode 15 – Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
- Season 1, Episode 16 – That Was Saliva, Alan
- Season 1, Episode 17 – Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
- Season 1, Episode 18 – An Old Flame with a New Wick
- Season 1, Episode 19 – I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don’t Remember You
- Season 1, Episode 20 – Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
- Season 1, Episode 21 – No Sniffing, No Wowing
- Season 1, Episode 22 – My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
- Season 1, Episode 23 – Just Like Buffalo
- Season 1, Episode 24 – Can You Feel My Finger
Two and a Half Men season 2 episode list:
- Season 2, Episode 1 – Back Off Mary Poppins
- Season 2, Episode 2 – Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
- Season 2, Episode 3 – A Bag Full of Jawea
- Season 2, Episode 4 – Go Get Mommy’s Bra
- Season 2, Episode 5 – Bad News from the Clinic
- Season 2, Episode 6 – The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
- Season 2, Episode 7 – A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
- Season 2, Episode 8 – Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
- Season 2, Episode 9 – Yes, Monsignor
- Season 2, Episode 10 – The Salmon Under My Sweater
- Season 2, Episode 11 – Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
- Season 2, Episode 12 – A Lung Full of Alan
- Season 2, Episode 13 – Zejdz Z Moich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)
- Season 2, Episode 14 – Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
- Season 2, Episode 15 – Smell the Umbrella Stand
- Season 2, Episode 16 – Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
- Season 2, Episode 17 – Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
- Season 2, Episode 18 – It Was Mame, Mom
- Season 2, Episode 19 – A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
- Season 2, Episode 20 – I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
- Season 2, Episode 21 – A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
- Season 2, Episode 22 – That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
- Season 2, Episode 23 – Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
- Season 2, Episode 24 – Does This Smell Funny to You
Two and a Half Men season 3 episode list:
- Season 3, Episode 1 – Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
- Season 3, Episode 2 – Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian Lover
- Season 3, Episode 3 – Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
- Season 3, Episode 4 – Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
- Season 3, Episode 5 – We Called It Mr. Pinky
- Season 3, Episode 6 – Hi, Mr. Horned One
- Season 3, Episode 7 – Sleep Tight, Puddin’ Pop
- Season 3, Episode 8 – That Voodoo That I Do Do
- Season 3, Episode 9 – Madame and Her Special Friend
- Season 3, Episode 10 – Something Salted and Twisted
- Season 3, Episode 11 – Santa’s Village of the Damned
- Season 3, Episode 12 – That Special Tug
- Season 3, Episode 13 – Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
- Season 3, Episode 14 – Love Isn’t Blind, It’s Retarded
- Season 3, Episode 15 – My Tongue Is Meat
- Season 3, Episode 16 – Ergo, the Booty Call
- Season 3, Episode 17 – The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
- Season 3, Episode 18 – The Spit-Covered Cobbler
- Season 3, Episode 19 – Golly Moses, She’s a Muffin
- Season 3, Episode 20 – Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
- Season 3, Episode 21 – And the Plot Moistens
- Season 3, Episode 22 – Just Once with Aunt Sophie
- Season 3, Episode 23 – Arguments for the Quickie
- Season 3, Episode 24 – That Pistol-Packin’ Hermaphrodite
Two and a Half Men season 4 episode list:
- Season 4, Episode 1 – Working for Caligula
- Season 4, Episode 2 – Who’s Vod Kanockers
- Season 4, Episode 3 – The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
- Season 4, Episode 4 – A Pot Smoking Monkey
- Season 4, Episode 5 – A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
- Season 4, Episode 6 – Apologies for the Frivolity
- Season 4, Episode 7 – Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
- Season 4, Episode 8 – Release the Dogs
- Season 4, Episode 9 – Corey’s Been Dead for an Hour
- Season 4, Episode 10 – Kissing Abraham Lincoln
- Season 4, Episode 11 – Walnuts and Demerol
- Season 4, Episode 12 – Castrating Sheep in Montana
- Season 4, Episode 13 – Don’t Worry, Speed Racer
- Season 4, Episode 14 – That’s Summer Sausage, Not Salami
- Season 4, Episode 15 – My Damn Stalker
- Season 4, Episode 16 – Young People Have Phlegm Too
- Season 4, Episode 17 – I Merely Slept with a Commie
- Season 4, Episode 18 – It Never Rains in Hooterville
- Season 4, Episode 19 – Smooth as a Ken Doll
- Season 4, Episode 20 – Aunt Myra Doesn’t Pee a Lot
- Season 4, Episode 21 – Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
- Season 4, Episode 22 – Mr. McGlue’s Feedbag
- Season 4, Episode 23 – Anteaters. They’re Just Crazy-lookin
- Season 4, Episode 24 – Prostitutes and Gelato
Two and a Half Men season 5 episode list:
- Season 5, Episode 1 – Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
- Season 5, Episode 2 – Media Room Slash Dungeon
- Season 5, Episode 3 – Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
- Season 5, Episode 4 – City of Great Racks
- Season 5, Episode 5 – Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
- Season 5, Episode 6 – Help Daddy Find His Toenail
- Season 5, Episode 7 – The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
- Season 5, Episode 8 – Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
- Season 5, Episode 9 – Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
- Season 5, Episode 10 – Kinda Like Necrophilia
- Season 5, Episode 11 – Meander to Your Dander
- Season 5, Episode 12 – A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
- Season 5, Episode 13 – The Soil is Moist
- Season 5, Episode 14 – Winky-Dink Time
- Season 5, Episode 15 – Rough Night in Hump Junction
- Season 5, Episode 16 – Look at Me, Mommy, I’m Pretty
- Season 5, Episode 17 – Fish in a Drawer
- Season 5, Episode 18 – If My Hole Could Talk
- Season 5, Episode 19 – Waiting for the Right Snapper
Two and a Half Men season 6 episode list:
- Season 6, Episode 1 – Taterhead Is Our Love Child
- Season 6, Episode 2 – Pie Hole, Herb
- Season 6, Episode 3 – Damn You, Eggs Benedict
- Season 6, Episode 4 – The Flavin’ and the Mavin’
- Season 6, Episode 5 – A Jock Strap in Hell
- Season 6, Episode 6 – It’s Always Nazi Week
- Season 6, Episode 7 – Best H.O. Money Can Buy
- Season 6, Episode 8 – Pinocchio’s Mouth
- Season 6, Episode 9 – The Mooch at the Boo
- Season 6, Episode 10 – He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
- Season 6, Episode 11 – The Devil’s Lube
- Season 6, Episode 12 – Thank God for Scoliosis
- Season 6, Episode 13 – I Think You Offended Don
- Season 6, Episode 14 – David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
- Season 6, Episode 15 – I’d Like to Start with the Cat
- Season 6, Episode 16 – She’ll Still Be Dead at Halftime
- Season 6, Episode 17 – The ‘Ocu’ or the ‘Pado’?
- Season 6, Episode 18 – My Son’s Enormous Head
- Season 6, Episode 19 – The Two Finger Rule
- Season 6, Episode 20 – Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
- Season 6, Episode 21 – Above Exalted Cyclops
- Season 6, Episode 22 – Sir Lancelot’s Litter Box
- Season 6, Episode 23 – Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
- Season 6, Episode 24 – Baseball Was Better with Steroids
Two and a Half Men season 7 episode list:
- Season 7, Episode 1 – 818-jklpuzo
- Season 7, Episode 2 – Whipped Unto the Third Generation
- Season 7, Episode 3 – Mmm, Fish. Yum.
- Season 7, Episode 4 – Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
- Season 7, Episode 5 – For the Sake of the Child
- Season 7, Episode 6 – Give Me Your Thumb
- Season 7, Episode 7 – Untainted by Filth
- Season 7, Episode 8 – Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
- Season 7, Episode 9 – Captain Terry’s Spray-On Hair
- Season 7, Episode 10 – That’s Why They Call It ‘Ball Room’
- Season 7, Episode 11 – Warning, It’s Dirty
- Season 7, Episode 12 – Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
- Season 7, Episode 13 – Yay, No Polyps
- Season 7, Episode 14 – Crude and Uncalled For
- Season 7, Episode 15 – Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
- Season 7, Episode 16 – Tinkle Like a Princess
- Season 7, Episode 17 – I Found Your Moustache
- Season 7, Episode 18 – Ixnay on the Oggie Day
- Season 7, Episode 19 – Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave
- Season 7, Episode 20 – I Called Him Magoo
- Season 7, Episode 21 – Gumby with a Pokey
- Season 7, Episode 22 – This Is Not Gonna End Well
Two and a Half Men season 8 episode list:
- Season 8, Episode 1 – Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
- Season 8, Episode 2 – A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
- Season 8, Episode 3 – A Pudding-Filled Cactus
- Season 8, Episode 4 – Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
- Season 8, Episode 5 – The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
- Season 8, Episode 6 – Twanging Your Magic Clanger
- Season 8, Episode 7 – The Crazy Bitch Gazette
- Season 8, Episode 8 – Springtime on a Stick
- Season 8, Episode 9 – A Good Time in Central Africa
- Season 8, Episode 10 – Ow, Ow, Don’t Stop
- Season 8, Episode 11 – Dead from the Waist Down
- Season 8, Episode 12 – Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy’s Dead
- Season 8, Episode 13 – Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
- Season 8, Episode 14 – Lookin’ for Japanese Subs
- Season 8, Episode 15 – Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
- Season 8, Episode 16 – That Darn Priest
Two and a Half Men season 9 episode list:
- Season 9, Episode 1 – Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
- Season 9, Episode 2 – People Who Love Peepholes
- Season 9, Episode 3 – Big Girls Don’t Throw Food
- Season 9, Episode 4 – Nine Magic Fingers
- Season 9, Episode 5 – A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
- Season 9, Episode 6 – The Squat and the Hover
- Season 9, Episode 7 – Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
- Season 9, Episode 8 – Thank You for the Intercourse
- Season 9, Episode 9 – Frodo’s Headshots
- Season 9, Episode 10 – A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
- Season 9, Episode 11 – What a Lovely Landing Strip
- Season 9, Episode 12 – One False Move, Zimbabwe!
- Season 9, Episode 13 – Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
- Season 9, Episode 14 – A Possum on Chemo
- Season 9, Episode 15 – The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
- Season 9, Episode 16 – Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
- Season 9, Episode 17 – Not in My Mouth!
- Season 9, Episode 18 – The War Against Gingivitis
- Season 9, Episode 19 – Palmdale, Ech
- Season 9, Episode 20 – Grandma’s Pie
- Season 9, Episode 21 – Mr. Hose Says ‘Yes’ – Original air date: April 16, 2012
- Season 9, Episode 22 – Why We Gave Up Women – Original air date: April 30, 2012
- Season 9, Episode 23 – The Straw In My Donut Hole – Original air date: May 7, 2012
- Season 9, Episode 24 – Original air date: May 14, 2012